Christmas in Poetry Land

Do you love Poetry? Do you love Christmas?  New 2021 Christmas in Poetry Land is available now ❤  First of many books I will be entering into this world over the next few year’s.   Next up is Survivor’s Mind (Where Childhood Trauma and Poetry Collide) ✍ Find me on Amazon and be sure to follow my author’s page to get notified when my next book is available.

I Am Published 📚

I dipped my toes in the water and became a published author. Available in ebook, paperback and free with the Kindle app

A delightful addition to the holiday season. From the legend of the Mistletoe kiss, lazy elves, anti-bullying Rudolph, a Santa sleigh ride and more. This collection of holiday poems will surely warm your heart.

May you never be too old to search the skies on Christmas Eve

The Closure I Deserve

Read about my life but don’t have any pity… I’m a strong Irishgirl from an all American city ☘

I have always been honest about the life I lived. First it was what I tried so hard to forget about. Then it was something so easy to cry about but it was also hard to talk about. I didn’t want the look of pity from my friends and it was so hard to explain… “But it started on Fletcher Street.” I would start to explain only to be interrupted with tears, belittling words or a horror I just wanted to forget.

As I got older and realized I was never growing up to forget the horror of my childhood… I knew I was best to distance myself to save myself from the family I tried so hard to belong to. A girl can only take so much belittling, mimics and ridicule in one lifetime.
My life story is told in my journals I kept in a nightstand drawer. Adding more journals as the years went by and adding more power of not dying a secret. While at the same time, without realizing it… I was also building the foundation that made me strong enough to do this.

After experiencing traumatizing, horrifying repressed memories in my mid forties, that’s when I finally got mad at the family that has shunned me away my whole damn life. All because I ran to a friends house one Saturday morning due to the fact that no one protected me from my birth mothers boyfriend, my baby sister’s father, my terrorizing, sick, evil and monstrous abuser.
I was in my late forties when I started to reach out to all who took me in when I was younger. I am thankful to each of them who not only remembered the uncaring family who abandoned me but they also remembered me!
As the horrifying reality of my repressed memories continued, I continued to remember my last year living with my ‘family’ which was in 1981 and not 1980 like I assumed for over thirty years.
That’s when I decided to tell the world my story… Not so you feel sad for me.
Not so you have pity for me. Not so you know what I lived through.

I tell it so you know what my abuser was capable of.
I tell it for the lives of girls whose families deserve answers.
I tell it because there are still hundreds of nude photos and film of my child self buried in a cellar wall. A wall that was dug out for my then eleven year old body.
I tell it because when those photos and film are found… I am one hundred percent positive the remains of Judith Chartier will also be found.

As for my ‘family’…. Support, love and protection goes a long way. If they wanted their part in my story to read better then they should have made their part better to read.

I have no apologies for distancing myself to save myself. I have no apologies for growing up strong enough to shatter my silence on my childhood trauma and family secrets. I have no apologies for reporting my abuser and his coincidences to those murdered girls. I have no apologies for pissing off my ‘family’ by being vocal. I have no apologies for being me.

Victims my abuser threatened, warned and feared into me…
The little girl he put in a trash bag and tossed in a field.
The children from when he was in the service.
The family friend he killed and was never a suspect.
Susan Rhonda Labbe 1974


Victims after I ran in 1981…

Janice Filamond: August 1981

Brenda Lacombe: May 1982

Judith Chartier: June 1982.


All are unsolved murders with Judith’s body still missing.

From 1975-1982 my birth mother harbored a monster and allowed hundreds of nude photos and film of her own daughter to remain in the home. She allowed him to sexually and physically torture and abuse me all while defending his actions towards me. She allowed him to dig out that cellar wall and she allowed his secret to carry on while degrading her own daughter’s soul into silence. And I am that daughter who grew up and became the sibling I needed then. I was a trophy in a child predators sick world for six years of my childhood and it was all under a mother’s watch.
It’s a horrifying reality I live everyday. Knowing one day I will get a call from the detective telling me they found all that is buried inside the huge tunnel hole in the cellar wall of my childhood home.

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/page-8-janice-filamond

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/page-9-brenda-lacombe

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/page-10-judith-chartier

Please keep the families of these murdered girls in your prayers. My childhood was lost in that home and I’m not afraid to admit I am a bit broken, flawed or a bag of damaged goods… But it would be nice to finally have the closure that I also deserve. 💖

Thank You for reading me.
Your host and friend… Catherine ♡


Please feel free to stalk my social media accounts at …


https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/landing?space_id=820640

https://httpsshatterthesilencemainecoposts2158490.wordpress.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-mellen-14a642175

https://www.Twitter.com/Irishgirl692

https://www.Instagram.com/Irishgirl692

https://www.Pinterest.com/Irishgirl692

Anti-Bullying for Adults (You taught me hate)

                             Stop Bullying Me

Some need strength to lift them through a fall.

Cause life is tough and definitely not easy for all. 

Discouragement, let downs and words that are cruel,

Are said by the angered and created by a fool.

Life has a way for all those to see… 

So back the fuck off and stop bullying me.


Over a decade ago the television, news channels, schools and even breakfast diners were full of gossip on the resources and articles about new laws when it came to being bullied. Children at school, parks and neighborhoods were all subject to either being bullied or being the bully. Parents and adults were quickly calling out those who bullied their child. Anti-bullying policies were being made and No-bullying zone were being put into place. Finally children of all ages were aware of bullying and the consequences should one be a bully.
Now in the year 2021, I am disgusted over the amount of adults who bully each other. We are given the right to vote because we have different opinions. If we all agreed then there would be no need for us to vote.  But with a vote, there is a chance who you voted for didn’t make the cut.  It doesn’t give you the right to hate, ridicule or tease the other voters for not voting the same as you. 


Do you remember days and months after September 11, 2001 when the whole world came together as one? We supported all, no matter race, religion, political opinion or tax bracket. Our world is already a scary one and we are only lowering our protection bar once again when we become our own terrorists. How can we fight for our country, protect our country and keep our country safe when we are fighting amongst ourselves?
Children learn from adults and what are you teaching them? 

1) To hate someone for not thinking like you.

2) It’s ok to start a riot to protest when things don’t go your way. While destroying businesses belonging to the same people you are protesting for. 

3) Remote schooling is for kids during a virus pandemic. Act like savage bullies charging through the Capitol for adults. (Guess the virus was excused for those adults) 

4) If you don’t want to do something then don’t. 

5) How a child reacts to racism, religion and sexual preference are based on the words and actions of those who are raising them. 

6) No child is born knowing hate. Hate is taught, hate is learned and hate is what this country carries so much of.


Adults: The biggest problem behind hate, racism and bullying.
Can it please stop? Our country, our world, our earth still has a future, a land we leave behind for those after us, a land that was left behind for us by those before us. The fighting, the hate and the racism stops with us.
Instead of yelling and fighting, start a Facebook group to rally your opinions. Many will join you.
Instead of spewing hate, use that energy towards putting an end to child predators and murderers having more rights than their victims.
Instead of carrying racism, remember we all sleep under one moon, we live on one earth and we all share the stars above.


It’s ok to have a difference of opinions, different likes, different interests than others, it’s what makes us unique.  It’s not ok to feel you are entitled to destroy businesses or cause chaos amongst other Americans.


This land is your land and this land is my land. From California to the New York island. From the redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters. This land was made for you and me.
As I went walking that ribbon of highway. I saw above me that endless skyway. Saw below me that golden valley. This land was made for you and me.
I roamed and rambled and I’ve followed my footsteps. To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts. All around me a voice was sounding. This land was made for you and me.
When the sun come shining, then I was strolling. And the wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling. The voice was chanting as the fog was lifting. This land was made for you and me.


Please stop the fighting because this land was made for both you and me.


Thank you for reading my article, my opinion and my plea to give peace a chance. Lord knows this country needs it.
Stay safe, stay healthy ❤
Peace and blessings to all,

Your host and friend Catherine Mellen aka Irishgirl692 ☘ 

Family Secrets

Family Secrets


I often hear the cries
And wonder still the same
Through all the many tries
I was silenced in their game.
 
Fears erupted a childhood
Strength collided a bond
A horror once misunderstood 
Answers without respond.
 
Cruelty were their intentions
A secret they wanted kept
Silence in the dimensions
Through tears I often wept.
 
A hallowed hole the heart will keep
Masks a survivor into someone weak.
Distance, dark and often deep
Painful, hurtful and hard to speak.
 
A life of silence, we often stay
Aching in pain and full of regrets
Screaming words we wish to say
The daily life of family secrets.

Written by Catherine Mellen

I Talk To Angels

One more from my Christmas in Poetry Land Collection because even on Christmas  day….  

                I Talk To Angels

If I had a wish, one that would come true
I’d wish for one more Christmas, just to be with you

I’d tell you all about the times, I was left alone & cried
Close my eyes, I talk to you, until my tears are dried

I’d tell you how I miss the way, your quirky little smile
Close my eyes, I talk to you, I know its been awhile.

If I had a wish, one that I want the most
Maybe a Christmas photo, for a social media post

I’d tell you how it feels, to miss you to the core
Close my eyes, I talk to you, if only for once more

I’d tell you of days ago and of Christmas past
Close my eyes, I talk to you, hoping it will last.

If I had one wish, one that is on my mind
I’d make my wish for you, a Christmas miracle kind

I’d tell you how I dream, of days when you were here
Close my eyes, I talk to you, please don’t disappear

I’d tell you how I begged, days I wished you stayed
Close my eyes, I talk to you, everyday I prayed.

If I had a wish, with just one destination
I’d wish for one more Christmas with your visitation

I’d tell you I’m glad your here, please don’t go away
Close my eyes, I talk to you, even on Christmas Day.

Written by Catherine Mellen

Christmas Toys

    From my Christmas in Poetry Land Collection…. 

        Christmas Toys

Made for girls, made for boys
An over abundance of Christmas toys

A doll for her, a train for him
A Christmas book about Tiny Tim

First it was play dough, now they want slime
Hand held games and a camera that gives time

Christmas toys wrapped so pretty
One for the dog and one for the kitty

Game boards and electronics
Wrestling dolls full of bionics

Malls and stores pack their shelves
Of Christmas toys made by elves

Sale prices and bargains always dropping
Christmas gift giving and toy shopping

One gift, two gift, three gift more
Christmas toys are found in every store

Shuffling the streets, for one particular game
Written on a Christmas list, each with a name

Bustling the holiday and all its noise
Checking off the list of Christmas toys

From my heart to yours, wishing all near and far a very Merry Christmas 🎅🤶 

Your friend and host, 

Catherine Mellen aka Irishgirl692 ☘

Facebook… The Notification Trigger

Acknowledgment, Accountability and Support…  Are the three things I will never receive from those three siblings but you can be damn sure I will always remind them should they ever reach out to me again.   

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/facebook-the-notification-trigger

Oh Christmas Tree

Oh Christmas Tree and all you represent
Years of ornaments and money well spent

You stand there so beautifully bright
Shining and blinking with every colorful light

Some cut you down, for the real effect
Or keep you artificial, it’s hard to select

Ornaments new and ornaments old
Years of tradition and memories to hold

Shimmer, shine and sparkle with glee
Beautiful display, oh Christmas Tree

Tinsel,  garland and a rounded tree skirt
Replaces a home once covered by dirt

Angel on top or a star of your preference
A tree is beautiful, there is no difference

One in each home for Christmas cheer
Shining its beauty every holiday year

The beauty of it all,  such a sight to see
Standing so beautiful, oh Christmas Tree

Written by Catherine Mellen ♡

A Christmas Gift

I am five years shame, secrets and silence free ❤ What is your Christmas Gift Wish? From my Christmas in Poetry Land Collection, here is A Christmas Gift…

A Christmas gift for me
If I had to choose
My own created family
I hope I never lose.

I don’t want a necklace
Or things made of gold
Items will never replace
Gifts you can not hold.

Don’t wrap me a present
No gifts in a bag or box
I don’t need the air pleasant
By mood soothing rocks.

Once were the days, in stories often told
Of gift giving ways, in a world gone old
Give me a visit, show me some love
The holiday isn’t, a sale priced glove
Cost no money, just a big heart
No traffic, no lines, no shopping cart.

A Christmas gift for me
Is all laughter and smiles
They come absolutely free
Memories made in piles.

It’s not sold in stores
No accompanying shelves
Giving loud morning snores
For the overworked elves.

If I have to choose
I hope you catch my drift
A family I’ll never lose
Is the best Christmas Gift!

Written by Catherine Mellen ♡

Before You Go

Today is International Survivors of Suicide.           

Before You Go

Just hear me out before you decide 

To end your life by suicide.  


I’m left behind and want you to know

I want to feel your pain before you go. 

Tell me in tears how you feel

If the words you say don’t help to heal

Before you go just hear me out

My life without you would be all about 

A hole in my heart, my life a void

My eyes fill up, my world destroyed 

I’ll miss you so much, it hurts you know

Just hear me out before you go

It isn’t about strength, courage or pride 

But a courageous battle you try to hide.  

A desperate scream, no end in sight

A decision is made, you fight the fight

Just know I love you, before you go

So I’m not left behind, hoping you know

No matter the decision you do decide 

In life and death, I’ll stand by your side. 

Written by Catherine Mellen 

It’s not how one dies, but how one lives which makes them who they are.

Depression is real, suicide is real, mental health awareness is real. 

To many broken children growing up in a fast changing world. 

Empathy, kindness and support matters.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours a day.

I won Dailywisdomwords.com Fall 2020 Poetry Contest

I am pleased, excited and happy to announce my poem An Open Book is the winner of the Dailywisdomwords.com Fall 2020 Poetry Contest. Recognition, a $250 gift card, membership paid and a YouTube interview with award winning writer and poet Shirley Satterfield scheduled for Wednesday morning.

Fall 2020 Poetry Contest Winner

                   An Open Book 

I write the society of a world gone wrong 

The hate, the crimes and the lives now gone.

I write the reality the whole world reads

The scars, the wounds, the pain that bleeds.

I write the melody the whole world sings

The laughter, the tears, the simple things.

I write the love in a world gone cold

The dreams, the wishes and stories untold.

I write the words I placed in a poem

For all the world we call our home.

I read the society where lies belong

Shame, secrets and a shattered song.

I read the reality this whole world needs

The survivor’s in courage forever now leads. 

I read the melody the whole world brings

The freedom of birds, queens and kings.

I read the love this world does hold

Hidden in cracks, waiting to unfold.

I read the words I placed in this poem

From my heart and straight to your home.

Written by Catherine Mellen 

Second Nomination/The Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award 2020

With all going on in this crazy world, it is nice to take a break and accept this award nominated by the talented and inspiring Stuart Tutt. Be sure to check out his website for thoughts on love, life, marriage, sex and his beautiful daily words of inspiration

https://stubaby777.wordpress.com

The Vincent Ehindero Blogger Award was created to bring a smile to your day. (Lord knows we need them) I am always intrigued by the happiness he spreads… Thank You Vincent 💕 Be sure to check out his website

https://vincentehindero.wordpress.com
(to qualify for a free blog promotion, shout out’s and more blogging opportunities)

Rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you with a link to their blog.

2. Make a post of the award (with a photo of the logo).

3. Post the rules.

4. Ask 5-10 questions of your choice.

5. Nominate other bloggers and notify them.

6. Follow Vincent Ehindero

Here are Stuart’s questions:

⚀ If you could have just one type of food for the rest of your life…what would it be?

🅰️ Fresh vegetables would be my choice

⚁ Why do most pastors only have the job/career of pastor when in fact it goes against what Jesus told the disciples to do when He sent them out?

🅰️ I am not sure how to answer this question, I think knowing you have a full time pastor available at all times, eases the mind of many parishioners.

⚂ If you had a friend in need of a ride to a doctor’s appointment for a medical procedure would you be willing to take a day off from work to ensure they made to and from home safely?

🅰️ Yes and have done it many times. Now being disabled, I am on the passenger seat nowadays.

⚃ Do you stop what you are doing and immediately pray for someone when they ask for prayer or do you just give them the answer they want to hear?

🅰️ I automatically send prayers. I am not one to give false hope to anyone.

⚄ What is your go to means of handling stress? Food, exercise, chocolate, sex, etc…

🅰️ I handle my stress by taking time for myself, listening to birds chirping or music. I let myself understand what I am stressing over and look for the positive.

My Nominees…

Claudia~ https://dowhatyoulove2015.wordpress.com

Vanessa~ https://thewellbeingblogger.com/

Sunny~ https://sunnylarue17.com

Roger~ https://mindandlove.com/

Sandy~ https://sundaymorningwithsandy.com/

My Five Questions…

❓ Do you feel safe in the world we live in today?

❔ If one famous person could follow your blog, who would you want?

❓ Does your family and friends support your writing/blogging?

❔ If you could change one thing in this world, what would it be?

❓ Would you consider turning your blog into a book?

That is all from me today. I once again thank Stuart for nominating me. Wishing everyone safe surroundings, good health, equal blessings and happy writing days ahead✍📚

Remember you are not obligated to respond or play along… Just know you and your blog are appreciated in the Blogging Community.

My name is Catherine Mellen, I write about my horrific, inhumane childhood, cruel family secrets, unsolved murders, poetry, short stories and so much more
Be sure to check out my website at…
https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/landing?space_id=820640

Peace and blessings to all

Thirty-seven years ago today…

Thirty-seven years ago today, life seemed so promising. In a world before 911 and google, when we as Americans had a promising future to look forward to.

Thirty-seven years ago today, I was five months into being reconnected with my dad and I was two weeks into meeting a fifteen year old boy who would grow into one of the best friendships I could ever imagine.

Thirty-seven years ago today, I had already survived a childhood no child should ever suffer, I already survived living in over six different homes and I would go on to live in thirteen more homes by time I was eighteen. I was already filled with unanswered questions and at the time, I only knew of six older siblings. Today I am the baby sister to twelve older siblings and my relationship with them now is no different than it was then.

Thirty-seven years ago today I was waiting for my dad to get discharged from the hospital after his procedure, a procedure he did not survive from. Thirty-seven years ago today I was at the start of a friendship that would leave me thinking of the boy who grew into a man every single day for the rest of my life.
I don’t know why life was so cruel to me, thinking it was ok to take the two men who loved me unconditionally on the same day years apart. Maybe it was what Jon told me in 1986 that of all the days I’ve cried on, the only day I deserved to cry was October 17th, the day my dad died.

Despite all I have been through prior to thirty-seven years ago today, for a brief moment when it was thirty-seven years today, life seemed so promising. Because thirty-seven years ago today I had those two men in my life and though it has been decades in the making of missing them, they are always close by in my heart. Love and family were the two things that were lacked in my young life, but I was blessed with thirty-seven years ago today when I was given enough to last me my lifetime. Jon and Dad, you are never forgotten and forever missed. Thank You for loving me ⚘

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/landing?space_id=820640

A Day Trip

Give your loved ones a special hug today, cause not all hugs are easy when heaven is so far away…
https://youtu.be/6lFxGBB4UGU

                    A Day Trip
If heaven wasn’t so far away, I’d take a trip and visit for the day.
I’d visit my dad who left long ago, stop in on friends to say hello.
I’d spend time with Ma who left too soon, hang out with Jon and dance by the moon.
I’d come back home and hug the ones I love and tell them of my day with our loved ones above.
Make some plans for another day, if only heaven wasn’t so far away 😪

It’s a marvelous night for a moondance

Happy Heavenly Birthday Jon ❤

A Superman Birthday

“When we have hope, we discover powers within ourselves we may have never known – the power to make sacrifices, to endure, to heal, and to love. Once we choose hope, everything is possible.” – Christopher Reeve.

On this day we acknowledge a most admirable human being as we stride to help improve the quality of life for individuals who are paralyzed. Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation – we celebrate with you.

Out of the closet… The child abuse closet

Why do I write? Being a poet and writer is definitely in my blood. A horrific childhood kept me in silence for three decades. How silly right? A walk into a police dept. and here I am…Out of the closet.

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/coming-out-of-the-closet

A Strangers Hero

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/a-strangers-hero

A Strangers Hero ⚘

An Act of terrorism, a foreign man’s will.

What he did, the day the world stood still.

No act of evil could ever compare

As we heard the news, terrorism was here.

The planes had crashed, so many lives lost.

Their souls not forgotten, no matter the cost.

Strangers came together and friendships were bound.

Assuring families, loved ones would be found.

As days went by, it just got worse.

But hearts of strangers was our only source.

Believing in faith and through God’s will.

We all came together the day the world stood still.

Written by Catherine Mellen

Never Forget/Never Forgotten

Shattered Heart Pieces

Shattered Heart Pieces

I carry the weight of a shattered heart
Society said, “Move On'”… So I played the part.
Accepting the way of my situation
Scattered emotions in duration.
Busting in words afraid to speak
An eagle’s soar like the courage I seek.

Way above the mountain
As high as they come
Shattered heart pieces
In earths mighty kingdom.

Where do they go, tiny pieces of pain?
Where do they stay, if they must remain?

I carried the weight of a shattered heart
Reality said, “Stay Strong”… So I played the part.
Accepting support as a donation
Scattered emotions and explanation.
Speaking my truth so I am heard
An eagle’s soar with each new word.

Way above the mountain
As high as they come
Shattered heart pieces
In earths mighty kingdom.

Where do they go, tiny pieces of my heart?
Where do they stay, if we never do part?

Written by Catherine Mellen
https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/shattered-heart-pieces

Behind Closed Doors… A Child Predators Dream

My story will help others to find their own strength

Scars to empower, healing has no length.

Child Abuse is a matter that shouldn’t be taken mild

Even as an adult, I was still once an abused child.

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/behind-closed-doors-a-child-predators-dream

Before You Go…

A hole in my heart, my life a void

My eyes fill up, my world destroyed

I’ll miss you so much, it hurts you know

Just hear me out before you go..

⬇️Read full Poem in link below⬇️

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours a day!

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/before-you-go

A wish is a wish we wish to come true…

Sometimes our wishes are so big they carry us through life. I always wished to be a poet, writer and tell my life story. Although I was all that in a closed drawer written in journals and notebooks. I never imaged my wish would come true. But here I am known as a poet, author and telling the world my life story. Wishes may not come true as quickly as we’d like but with a little hard work even the biggest of wishes are possible ⚘ Keep wishing… A Tuesday Truth Indeed ✍

Child Abuse Awareness! A Tuesday Truth Indeed..

Child Abuse Awareness

I’ve told my story,

I’m outside the box

Away from the drawer

Which held all the locks!

I’ve told my story

For the whole world to hear

Of the little girl

Who lived everyday in fear!

I’ve told my story

Of my struggles to belong

Not really knowing

I was a Survivor all along!

I’ve told my story

For little girls like me

Who thinks its impossible

To survive without family!

I’ve told my story

And I will continue to repeat

Until Child Abuse Awareness

Is heard on every street!

I’ve told my story

And the reasons I’m alive

I’ve told my story

So others can also Survive!

Written by Catherine Mellen ♡

https://shatter-the-silence.mn.co/posts/child-abuse-awareness

Another Poem made it into a Poetry Journal ♡ This time the July 2020 edition of the Cambridge Hall Poetry Journal! And at 11am today… My Poetry is being reviewed by a Literary Group! I guess I really do write the words… You all read 💖

✍📚 An Open Book 📚✍

I write the society of a world gone wrong

The hate, the crimes and the lives now gone

I write the reality the whole world reads

The scars, the wounds, the pain that bleeds

I write the melody the whole world sings

The laughter, the tears, the simple things

I write the love in a world gone cold

The dreams, the wishes and stories untold

I write the words I placed in a poem

For all the world, we call our home.

I read the society, where lies belong

Shame, Secrets and a Shattered song

I read the reality this whole world needs

The survivor’s in courage, forever now leads

I read the melody the whole world brings

The freedom of birds, queens and kings

I read the love this world does hold

Hidden in cracks, waiting to unfold

I read the words, I placed in this poem

From my heart and straight to your home

Written by Catherine Mellen